Monday, June 26, 2017

Tom Pitts and AMERICAN STATIC or Meet Princess Quinn




It’s summer! Time to catch up on that teetering, tower of TBR. One of the season’s most anticipated new books is finally out.
"I don’t know what’s better, his (Tom Pitts) writing or the story he is telling."
                                        -David Nemeth, Noir Czar, Unlawful Acts

Fans of dark, gritty crime fiction have come to know the name Tom Pitts. Author of FASTBALL, PIGGYBACK, and HUSTLE he is also acquisitions editor at Gutter Books and Out of the Gutter Online. He fills his 24-hours. His new novel AMERICAN STATIC hit the streets June 26.
                                               American Static

AMERICAN STATIC is a fast-paced crime thriller with a mystery woven throughout. It plays out against the backdrop of Northern California’s wine country, Oakland’s mean streets, and San Francisco’s peaks and alleyways. The perfectly paced story is filled with corrupt cops and death dealing gangsters.

With a chaotic writer’s schedule and O.J. vs The People streaming on Netflix Tom Pitts is a busy man, but we wanted to learn more about his pitch perfect and true to life characters.

To get some insight, Do Some Damage sat down with AMERICAN STATIC’s lead instigator Quinn and author Tom Pitts. Quinn is a mysterious stranger on a desperate search for his daughter. When he picks up innocent protagonist Steven after the latter is beaten and left for dead the two set out on the ride of their lives.

In hopes of learning more about this fascinating man I filled my phone notepad with questions. Deep, meaningful questions probing and delving the depths of his soul and heart. Questions that might lead to a deeper insight into his demons and angels.

Then my kids were released from school. Summer vacation hit and my phone has not been the same. They text friends. Search DIY slime recipes. Listen to Pandora without closing the app, suck the battery and lose all files in my notepad.

There are some awesome consequences, though. All vocal apps now address me as Mrs. Snow, Mother of Dragons. I can, in certain circumstance, speak another language as my girls have changed my texting capability to Japanese only. Plus, every single app on my phone is princess related.

With that being said and Quinn’s patience already tested I decided to just do it, dammit. Thank you, Shia.

Ladies and gentlemen please meet Quinn and let’s get ready to play…

Which Disney Princess Are You?


Quinn: Wait … is that a real question? ‘Cause I have some thoughts on the subject. Having had a daughter of my own, the whole princess thing is—

Pitts: Hang on, wait a second, I don’t mean to interrupt, but this is ridiculous. I get that trying to do a different spin on things might be fun, but an online Disney quiz? Aside from it being inappropriate for the subject matter, you’re opening yourself up to scrutiny from the most litigious organization in the history of copyright infringement.

Quinn: Eh, not for nothin’, but you seem a bit uptight, Pitts. Let’s let the little lady have her fun and play along. Who knows maybe you’ll learn something.

Pitts: She’s not a little lady, she’s a writer trying to go against the grain of a tired format. Saying shit like that is patronizing at the very least.

DSD: It’s okay, Tom. I don’t mind-

Quinn: Tell you what, I’ll take the quiz, you can sit tight and relax for a minute. There’s a bottle of Jack in the truck, why don’t you go pour yourself a short one and have one of my Marlboros.

Pitts: I don’t smoke.

Quinn: Ha! Right! Maybe you should. Maybe that’s your problem. Look, we all got shit to do today. I’m startin’ to feel like you’re just being disruptive.  I’ll tell you only once more, sit down.

Pitts: I don’t like the look you’re giving me.

Quinn: Okay, Marrietta, I’m sorry. Some people just can’t let go of their own shit long enough to have a good time. Now … where were we?

DSD: Checking hair in Quinn’s mirrored glasses. Huh? Oh, yea. Wait. Something with princess. Which princess are you? Here we go.


1.       What was your favorite subject in school? 

A.      Gym. I was always team captain

B.      History. I loved learning how romantic things were back in the day.

C.      Lunch. Chatting with my friends was the best part of my day.

D.      English. Getting lost in a book is so dreamy.

E.       French. I couldn’t wait to travel the world.

Quinn: School. Yeah, right. I think you gotta get your education outside of the four walls, you know? Question authority, and all that? Fuck school.



2.       How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

A.      Fifteen minutes. Tops. I like the natural yet pulled-together look.

B.      Five minutes. Messy hair? Don’t care. Hello messy pony.

C.      Depends. I love to try new things. Ask my mood?

D.      Thirty minutes. That is just my hair.

E.       An hour. Perfection doesn’t happen by accident.

Quinn: Fifteen minutes. This perfection actually did happen by accident. Back in the joint, it was up at 5:45 and in the chow line by 6. If you didn’t make it by 6, it was white toast with no butter for you. Now that I’m out freewheeling, I guess I could do what I like in the morning. Take my time, read the paper, jerk off, whatever. But, you know, old habits die hard. Flashes perfect pearly whites.

DSD: No time for proper nutrition? Shame. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.



3.       When it’s a chill day, what is your fav activity?

A.      Curl up with a good book. No shame in re-reading my favorites.

B.      Hang with my besties.

C.      Hit the mall. Hopefully run into my secret crush.

D.      Sports. If I’m not running, skating, swimming or biking I’m practicing.

E.       Spa day!!!

Quinn: Behind the wheel, all day, no stopping. One straight fucking beeline to the border, baby.

DSD: Sounds like someone is a fan of the gorgeous open-air markets in Rosarita. Is it the glassware or the hand-wovens?



 4.       How would you ask your secret crush on a date?

A.      Just ask. Duh.

B.      Stick a cute note on their car or mailbox.

C.      Pop the question during half-time!!!

D.      Plan a fun scavenger hunt.

E.       Chill. Send a text. NBD.

Quinn: Me? I have to ask? I don’t know if you noticed that waitress looking at me, but she is. Chicks dig me, what can I say. Usually they’re the ones asking me out.

DSD: Notes waitress’ expression also resembles “bad burrito face.” Absolutely. I can see that. Let’s move on.



 5.       You’re having a sleepover with your besties. What will you and your posse probably do all night long?

A.      Video games.

B.      An epic game of truth or dare.

C.      Mani/pedis, of course.

D.      Stalk your secret crush on social media.

E.       Watch our fav tearjerker.

Quinn: Besties? What the hell is that? Like a cellie? If we’re locked down, I don’t want someone crawling the walls. They better lay still and entertain themselves. You think I need a weapon to shut someone up? Hell no. All I need is these two hands.  

DSD: Aha. So, you like arts and crafts? Are you a modeling clay type or do you like to work with wood?



 6.       What is your go to flirting move?

A.      A subtle hair flip is perfect.

B.      Being super, duper nice. Make them cookies!!!!

C.      Show off.

D.      Ramble on and on until we find something in common.

E.       Play it cool. Act like I could care less.

Quinn: My smile, it’s all I need. I’ve been told many times I got movie start good-looks. Hell, I flash this grin at you and before you know it, I’m at your kitchen table and you’re telling me your deepest darkest secrets. Lifts chin. Smiles.

DSD: As long as you brought the doughnuts. Stares at phone.



 7.       Your bestie is super stressed they will never have a date. What do you suggest?

A.      The Gym. People who go to the gym are dedicated and totally hot.

B.      Church. It’s where all the decent people go.

C.      You can find love anywhere. Just be open to it.

D.      Hang out after work. Friends of friends.

E.       Love yourself first and love will find you.

Quinn: Toughen up, kid. We ain’t all cut out for a life full of love.



 8.       Describe your fashion style.

A.      Sporty.

B.      Flirty.

C.      Classic.

D.      Trendy.

Quinn: You kidding? Class-sick. Shit.

DSD: Regular Robert Redford.



 9.       Describe your perfect crush. 

A.      Popular and charming. So many people can’t be wrong.

B.      Captain of the football team. Go team!!!

C.      Tough on the outside, sweet and sensitive on the inside.

D.      Mysterious. Misunderstood.

E.       I have a crush on everyone.

Quinn: I’m not sure I understand this question. What’re you trying to say? Are you accusing me of something?

Pitts: Whoa, hang on. Don’t get excited. It’s just one of those online quizzes for fun.

Quinn: For fun? Online? Who else is reading this? I thought it was just us three, you know, having a good time. What the fuck, Miles? Who asked you to do this? You with somebody? You know Ricardo? Don’t lie, I’m not always this nice. If I find out you’re fucking with me, shit ain’t gonna end pretty.

DSD: I don’t know a Ricardo. I know a Weddle. Let me just get your score.



RAPUNZEL

You are funny and gregarious, people say you have a great sense of humor and that you always keep them smiling and in stitches. You are constantly on the lookout for adventures and excitement. You will never settle down.

Perfect.


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