Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Latest Blog Kerpluffle (BIG NOTICEABLE TITLE)

by Dave White

A sentence that is meant to attract your interest, often a fragment.

First full paragraph. Several sentences that are fraught with strong words that support the opinion of the poster. People who disagree start to get angry, look for ways to attack opinion. Another sentence filled with more vitriol. Attention of readers fully gained. Nothing of substance said.

Paragraph two. More toned down, thoughtful. Some thoughts are laid out. Usually a tpyo or to. Poster starts to back up opinion with one fact read on the internet (Wikipedia?) and more opinions. In book world agents, editors, the unpublished get trashed.

If group blog where people have time to worry about one post a week or two, poster goes on and on backing up more opinions with opinions. Blog post is nearly 4000 words long. Readers follow it, but start skimming. They have formed their opinion.

If solo blog, post ends here with a short sentence that relates back the first. Writer hopes to emit audible gasp from readers around the world. Actual hit count for the day? 42.

Comment 1:

Always starts with "You hit the nail on the head."

Comment 2:

"Great post!" (AKA I have nothing to add.)

Comment 3:

Angry disagreeing diatribe. Opinion, opinion, opinion. Disagree, disagree, disagree.

Comment 4:

Anonymous comment telling you how much your dog, you truck, your wife and your book sucked. Personal insult dropped here.

(Blogger immediately starts checking IP addresses.)

Comment 5:


Comment 6:

Someone actually does some research, shoots blogger down. And hater.

Comment 7:

Did you see Lost last night?

Comment 8:

Original poster, happy he got more than one post comments again, trying to keep the hits coming. They don't.

Comment 9:

Shameless Self-Promotion under the guise of almost relating to the topic. All I really want you to do is buy my books. There are only two left on Amazon! Order... something sort related to the topic. ORDER!!!!

Comment 10:

This is my first time visiting your blog. It would be great to use this post in my thesis paper! I will return here again!

Comment 11:

Original poster thanks comment 10 poster a ton. Can't believe he's going to be used in thesis. Did not click on link.

Comments end.

Post immediately forgotten about by everyone as the next unresolved, nothing will ever change, another FAUX ATTENTION GRABBING blog post has been posted.


formulaic666 said...

You hit the nail on the head!

Unknown said...

yeah, like, whatever, Dave. Come over to mine now everybody. No thesis. But several nails hit on several heads.