I consider myself a bit of an expert on query letters.
If you think I’m being arrogant, yeah, maybe a little, but
the reason I consider myself somewhat of an expert is that I’ve queried around
100 agents and fine-tuned my query letter as I went.
I want to share with you my query letter that nabbed me the
most kick butt rock star agent around, Stacey Glick, of Dystel & Goderich
Literary Management. (If you somehow haven’t heard of them, let’s just say that
along with repping me, they also represent the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.)
No, I’m not biased. Ha!
So here is my query, after much massaging:
Dear KICK BUTT AGENT:
I am seeking
representation for my crime fiction novel, BLESSED ARE THE DEAD. This
novel was inspired by a story I covered as a crime reporter and my own efforts to get
a serial killer to confess to taking and killing a little girl. When the man
died in prison two years ago, I was called for a comment, so I guess I’m
considered an “expert” on him now.
Gabriella Giovanni has
never met a man more exciting than a murder.
Her big Italian-American
family can’t understand why Gabriella chooses her adrenaline-pumping career as
a San Francisco Bay Area newspaper reporter over being married with little
bambinos running around. Instead, Gabriella spends her days flitting in and out
of other people’s nightmares and then walking away unscathed, like a teenager
exiting the haunted house at the fair. That’s partly because for twenty years
Gabriella’s managed to avoid confronting her own dark childhood memories: her
sister’s kidnapping and murder.
That changes when a
little girl disappears on the way to the school bus stop.
Gabriella’s quest for
justice and a front-page story leads her to a convicted kidnapper who reels her
in with tales of his exploits as a longtime serial killer and his promises to
reveal his secrets to her alone. Editors warn Gabriella she is in danger
of losing her job when the biggest newspaper in town keeps scooping her on the
story. Believing that the fate of her beloved job and solving the mystery of
her sister’s disappearance both lie in the hands of a serial killer, Gabriella
risks her life to meet him when he is sprung from jail on a technicality.
The novel is
complete at 88,000 words and took first place in the mystery category
of The 2011 Sandy Writing Contest. The final judge, an editor at Simon and
Schuster, said this about it:
“I liked Gabriella and
wanted to spend time with her. I also thought the author did a good job
establishing character, plot, AND building suspense within a short period of
time. This reminded me of Sue Grafton or Jan Burke.”
I am a member of Sisters
in Crime, polished my manuscript in a master class on the novel at
The Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis, and am involved in three writing
critique groups. I am a freelance writer and maintain two blogs.
Thank you very much for
your time and consideration. I have included the first chapter so you can get a
feel for my voice.
Sincerely,
Kristi Belcamino
Let’s break it down:
1st paragraph
Introduces you. So, I know Janet Reid
(Query Shark) hates that introductory paragraph, but I say unless you are
querying JANET REID, keep it in. It’s polite.
The next three paragraphs:
The summary of your novel. This is what
you want to appear on the back cover copy of your book. It’s fun to write and
summarize in this way.
The next paragraph or
two: Facts about you and your novel/your
credentials. (It’s 80,000 words. I’m a Sisters in Crime member. My manuscript
won an award.)
Closing paragraph:
Thank you and HEY I’ve included the
first five pages (or first chapter) so you can get a feel for my voice!
Okay. So a few things to point out. I always, always, always
included that last line. I either included five pages or an entire chapter. My
thought was if the query had interested them, but they were on the fence, they
could read further to see if my writing was something they liked. I really
recommend doing this unless someone specifically says “QUERY ONLY.”
In addition, only include it in the email. If you attach it,
an agent will probably never look at it. Attachments are a big no-no in the
query process unless they ask you to attach a word doc.
I knew my query was working because I had dozens of requests
to read my full manuscript. And, then I
also came across this article by Literary Agent Jill Marr on how to query agents. And lo, and behold, as I
read her article, I saw this in an article she wrote on queries:
There are also several ways to stand out in a good way. Here are a few examples of some first lines that have caught my eye recently:
....
Gabriella has never met a man more exciting than a murder. (Again, this one works because the author is showing me so much, but in a new and different way. This character is a loner and someone who deals with death and murders. I already like her!)
So, Jill liked it, too. The reason I
even have the gumption to offer up my query in the hopes that it will help is
because when I first sat down to write my query letter, I had a stack of query
letters from other authors that I used as inspiration.
I hope by me sharing this and you reading it you can get
some ideas or inspiration about writing query letters.
2 comments:
Great stuff and not arrogant at all. Thanks.
Thanks, Seana.
So glad it was helpful!
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