Thursday, February 6, 2014

Party talk with a writer

So, is your book available in stores? On Amazon?

Yes. It's like a real book.

I'm looking forward to reading it. Can I get a copy?

Sure, it's available in stores. And on Amazon. Kobo.

Oh, I thought you probably had copies.

Yeah, I do.

Ah.

Yes.

Well?

Well, what?

Can I get a copy?

Of my book?

Yeah. I might like to read it. You know, if you have a copy.

Oh, sure. Can I get your credit card for a second?

***

So, how's your book doing?

Fine, I guess. I wrote it and people are reading it.

That's great.

Yeah.

So how's it selling?

Oh, I don't know. Publishing is weird.

Ah. But selling well?

Less well than I would have thought.

***

So you're a writer?

Yes. What do you do?

I'm a doctor of veterinary medicine.

Oh. Cool.

Yeah. So, they say everybody has a novel in them, you know?

I hadn't heard that.

Yeah. Like a story to tell. It's just finding the time to tell it.

Oh.

You wouldn't believe how busy I am.

No, I wouldn't.

So.

Yeah, so you figure everyone has a neutering in them, too?

What?

I mean, you'd need to find the time.

Uh?

Hey, come out back for a second. I gotta show you something.

***

Honey?

Hey, sweetie.

Why are you standing over here by yourself?

I like it here.

By the sink?

Yeah. It's nice.

You don't want to mingle?

I did.

Did Betty find you?

Yeah.

She wanted you to sign her book.

So she said.

Oh. That must have made her happy.

Well...

What? Did you, did something happen?

It was a copy from the library.

***

So, you're the writer?

Yeah, OK.

Written anything I would know?

Maybe. What do you like to read?

Oh, I like everything.

Then probably, yeah.

***

I hate parties, don't you?

I guess.

My husband always dragged me to these things.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. But now we're divorced, I'm kinda lost.

Right.

Trial is next week. Just wanted to get my mind off it.

Trial?

Yeah. He was arrested by the justice department. Weird story.

No kidding?

Yeah. But you don't want to hear it.

Uh, mind if I take notes?

5 comments:

Ruthy said...

Hahaha This is great. Do you think they'll make a movie from it? You should send it to Oprah. ;)

Thomas Pluck said...

I saw the movie.

eviljwinter said...

"How's the book doing?" is the single most annoying question I've ever had.

The book isn't doing anything. It just sits there waiting to be ordered. It's as true for me, who hasn't sold anything since last month, as it is for Lee Child, who sold 3000 while I typed this.

Stacy Allen said...

These are priceless. And Oh. So. True.

Elaine Ash said...

Good one Steve!
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