Thursday, December 24, 2009

SECRET SANTA: Chekov's Gun

So here's the deal.

When you're writing for Do Some Damage you get an inordinate amount of emails. Mostly they're from Stringer complaining about his football/soccer team alienating him. Sometimes they're from Weddle whining about the blister on his toe.

And when you get them everyone hits reply all and answers. Russel talks about work. John and Mike--the reasonable ones--tell us to just ignore them. And they do it politely...(Is that good, guys? Can you let my brother go now?) And Scott... well Scott does love his emoticons.

Anyway, somewhere in the midst of Stringer's 37th foul mouthed email, he started talking about Christmas. And how cool it'd be to do a Secret Santa. (I think it was Stringer. It may have been John or Mike---SERIOUSLY... LET HIM GO!! Oh and Hey, Scott--<@:-) )

He said we should all come up with a wacky topic, email it to his girl, and she would distribute one topic to each member of the DSD randomly. And we'd have to write a post about it. So, for the next week you get to read the official DO SOME DAMAGE SECRET SANTA Blog Posts!

Well, maybe not Russel's... I think he's like... working on his tan... Guess you'll find out tomorrow!

(Steve, just pop the damn thing already...Yuck!)

"Was Chekov's Gun ever actually loaded?"

My first thought was... do they really expect me to research every episode of STAR TREK to find out if he had a loaded gun? Seriously, I'm not doing that. I'm not that much of a Trekkie. I mean, I loved the summer action flick, but I really don't know all the different aspects of the Trek Canon.

So, I'm not doing that. I'm not going on IMDB... I really don't care about Chekov's gun? And even if it was loaded, wouldn't it be set on stun anyway?

Wait, what's that?

Oh.... right.

The literary device.

In a letter, Anton Chekov once wrote, "One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it."

That seems to answer the question, doesn't it?

I mean a close read of that quote shows that the rifle is indeed loaded.

So, if you're asking if it ever really was loaded... then you have reason to believe Chekov was lying. Why is that?

A quick look into the past of Chekov shows why you'd think that...

He renounced theater after the critical reception of THE SEAGULL went very badly. I mean, let's assume that Chekov really hated theater. Hated theater like I hate pasta. What would a man like that do?

He'd go on and on about a loaded rifle... only to have it never be loaded.

But THE SEAGULL was brought back to the theater two years later. He helped bring it back after renouncing the entire genre... and Chekov wrote two more plays AFTER "renouncing" theater...

So, was Chekov's gun loaded?

Not after THE SEAGULL.

No... he kept it unloaded as a cruel... harmful joke. That's how he got his revenge on theater and theater goers. He talks about how we should all expect this gun should be loaded and then GO OFF... but it just clicks on an empty chamber...

And now all of us are paying for it... because we're all trying to find a way to make the gun we put on stage in Act One... go off in the third act...


Merry Christmas!


John McFetridge said...

How can anyone hate pasta?

Jay Stringer said...

John makes an important point. Possibly THE most important point in all of crime fiction.

How can Dave White not like pasta?

Damn, that should have been my secret santa...

Dave White said...

It's gross. It's slimy and makes that squishy sound.